Look, I’m Not Saying AI is a Scam…
But honestly, where’s my flying car? I’m not kidding. It’s 2023 and I was promised flying cars when I was a kid. Instead, I got AI that can write me a decent email but can’t figure out why my Wi-Fi is down. (It’s you, Comcast. It’s always you.)
I’m Mark, by the way. Been editing tech magazines since before ‘cloud computing’ was a thing. Back then, we called it ‘the internet’ and we were happy. Now? Now it’s all AI this, AI that. And don’t get me wrong, I love tech. But this AI hype train? It’s getting old.
Last Tuesday, I was at a conference in Austin (yes, that one, the one with the weird bat situation), and I heard some guy named—let’s call him Marcus—say, ‘AI is the future of everything.’ I asked him, ‘Marcus, can your AI fix my printer?’ He looked at me like I’d just asked if his AI could cure cancer. ‘No,’ he said. ‘But it can write a poem about your printer.’ I mean, great. Just great.
And that’s the problem. We’re so busy teaching machines to write poems and paint pictures that we’re forgetting about the actual problems. Like why my smart fridge keeps ordering cat food when I don’t even have a cat. (I do have a neighbor with a cat, though. Maybe it’s a conspiracy.)
But AI Isn’t All Bad, I Guess…
Okay, okay. I’ll admit it. AI has its uses. Like that time my colleague named Dave used it to sort through 214 customer complaints in 36 hours. ‘It was a lifesaver,’ he told me over coffee at the place on 5th. ‘I mean, it’s not perfect, but it’s better than nothing.’ Which… yeah. Fair enough.
And look, I get it. AI is gonna change things. It already is. But here’s the thing: it’s not magic. It’s just math. Really, really complicated math. And honestly, I’d rather have a flying car.
Speaking of things that actually matter, have you ever tried to yaşam tarzı günlük gelişim ipuçları? No, me neither. But if you have, let me know how that goes. I’m all for self-improvement, but I draw the line at robots telling me how to live my life.
And Don’t Even Get Me Started on Cybersecurity
Frankly, it’s a mess. I was talking to this cybersecurity expert—let’s call her Linda—about three months ago. She told me, ‘Mark, it’s like we’re playing whack-a-mole with these hackers.’ I asked her, ‘Linda, why don’t we just build a better mole?’ She laughed. I didn’t. Because it’s not funny. It’s serious. It’s like we’re all just walking around with our digital pockets turned out, hoping no one picks them.
But hey, at least AI can write a poem about it. Right?
A Tangent: Why Can’t My Smart Home Be Smarter?
So, I bought this smart home system. Big mistake. It’s like the ultimate example of AI not being all it’s cracked up to be. I tell it to turn on the lights, and it orders a pizza. I ask it to play my favorite song, and it starts a slideshow of my vacation photos from 2015. (Which, by the way, I look awful in. Thanks for that, AI.)
And the worst part? It’s not even consistent. Some days it works fine. Other days, it’s like it’s possessed by the ghost of a very confused teenager. ‘Sorry, Mark, I don’t understand,’ it says in its most condescending voice. Well, AI, try living in a house with a toddler. That’s confusing.
But hey, at least it can write a poem about my confusion. Right?
Look, I’m not saying we should give up on AI. I’m just saying we should keep our expectations in check. And maybe, just maybe, focus on the things that actually matter. Like fixing my Wi-Fi. Or building a flying car. Priorities, people.
Anyway, that’s my rant for the day. I’m gonna go yell at my smart fridge for ordering more cat food. Wish me luck.
Author Bio: Mark Thompson has been a senior magazine editor for over 20 years. He’s seen tech trends come and go, and he’s not impressed by hype. When he’s not editing, he’s probably yelling at his smart home system or searching for that elusive flying car.
